The beard

Most everyone who knows me knows that I DO NOT like facial hair. Yuck. I do not like looking at it. Or touching it. And DEFINITELY not kissing it. So why, then, did my wonderful husband decided to randomly grow a beard?

He said he wanted to try it out. He has talked about it for years. I kind of thought it would be one of those things he would try when he was forty or fifty. But he decided to try now. And no, he did not consult me on this decision (he didn't need to, he already knew what I was going to say).

I think part of this desire came with a recent visit with my family. Both of my brothers were there (very rare, btw). Matt, the younger of them, had some very sporadic growth around his chin and face. It looked awful. But when he told us it was TWO WEEKS of growing, I couldn't help but laugh! Bill, the older, has much the same problem, though I think his "beard" might be slightly better. But only slightly.

We have always known Craig could easily grow a full beard without much trouble. We have been a little curious about how long it would actually take to grow one. So for the last week he has been trying to grow a beard.

And I hate it. I mean, I REALLY hate it. Cameron isn't too fond of it, either. And it turns out, Craig himself doesn't like it either! He says he is constantly aware of it, but it never ceases to shock him when he looks in the mirror, or puts his hand on his face. So, the beard is coming off tonight. Hooray!!

I have to say that I am impressed with the growth he was able to achieve in only one week. It is not a full beard, but probably would be within another week if he continued to let it grow. I am hoping that he won't try this again for a long time. Or ever. Maybe now I can convince him to do laser hair removal on his facial hair:-)

A few shots of the beard:

Fostering

I have a new found respect for foster parents. It is HARD WORK!

Craig and I have been searching for ways to "grow" our family. We recently took a serious look at becoming foster parents. Because the state helps quite a bit, we felt this would be a great idea for us. We already had a spare room, a bed and a crib, plenty of toys, etc. Only the child was missing.

So we started going to the classes that they require as part of the licensing procedure. We learned a lot. We learned things we didn't want to know. We learned that people do terrible things, and a lot of time they do these terrible things to their own children. So sad! Heartbreaking, in fact.

We thought, "We could give these children a safe home. We could give them love. We could give them hope." But then we were told that the state ALWAYS wants to send these children back to their bio parents whenever possible. Even if we feel that is just not cool.

Some of these kids have been through way too much in their short lives. They need A LOT of attention. Which is, of course, a problem for us, since we both work full time. I even work most weekends.

Putting it all together, we decided that fostering is probably not such a good fit for us after all. It would be very difficult to spend the time with them that they really need. And we know that we will probably become attached to them, and it would be very difficult to give some of them back to their parents. I think I could handle it a little better than Craig. He is an all or nothing kind of guy. But it would still be hard.

So, here we are back at square one again. I find we are here A LOT. I don't think I like square one very much. It means there is no progress. We want more than anything to have more children, but nothing has worked out for us. In fact, fostering was pretty much the last step for us. Now that that has fallen through, we are pretty much thinking Cameron is going to be our one and only. It kills me to think that. I always wanted a big family. Never thought I would only have one. I love him like crazy, but I would give anything for him to have a brother or sister. Perhaps it is just not meant to be.

I guess she's not so bad, afterall

Many eons ago, I lived in a hole-in-the-wall place south of BYU campus. Total ghettosville. But I made a lot of friends and some good memories. But there was one person I did NOT want to make friends with. We called her the "Cookie Slut". I know. Awful. She had this name because whenever any of us tried to visit with any of the guys, invariably she was there. With cookies. And not just any cookies. These were always her best homemade, melt-in-your-mouth, died-and-gone-to-heaven cookies. Us plain girls didn't have a chance. So naturally, we hated her. Okay, hate is much to strong a word. But we didn't like her much, at any rate.

Well, as fate would have it, I ended up actually moving in with her the next year in a new apartment complex. Yes, I did know she was going to be there, and yes, I did cry a few times before the big move-in day. I was certain I was making a big mistake, but something kept telling me I needed to do this. Besides, if I lived in the same apartment as her, I was bound to get some of those cookies, right?

Turns out, Alicia (yes, she does have a name), was an awesome cook in general. Really, I think her homemade Chicken Noodle soup is impossible to beat. And those chocolate bon-bons? Yes, please.

Then here cookies made something magical happen. One night she made a batch of fabulous cookies and invited a bunch of guys a few doors down to come sample them. Too bad she forgot to tell me. So there I was in my jammies, no make-up on, hair not done, and in walks an entire apartment full of guys. Yikes! No where to run, no where to hide. So I just curled myself up on the couch, hoping I looked invisible.

Nope, not invisible. Apparently I caught the eye of one of those fellers, and he sat right down next to me and started up a conversation. And he was smart. Real smart. And I liked him. A week later he asked me out on a date, and I decided I like him even more. And he liked me, too. We've been together almost eight years now:-)

And what about Alicia? Well, turns out she wasn't so bad after all. In fact, she was downright great! I have had many roommates over the years, but she is one of the few that I have actually kept in touch with (thank goodness for blogs and facebook!). She found her Captain Awesome a few years back, and now they are expecting their first baby!

Even though she now lives in Kansas, I still keep up with her. She has been in town because her hubby Brian is an AMAZING organist (I think he played a little for MoTab), and is doing some kind of organ thing at BYU, so Alicia's mom threw her a baby shower.

It was great seeing her again (even though I was reminded how very short I am). Alicia, you are awesome. I am soo excited for you and Brian! And I envy the new little one because he will get to eat your amazing food every day. Thanks for the cookies:-)

The Great Outdoors

I have always been the outdoorsy type. Despite my cuteness and chic style, I grew up as a tomboy. I was the one climbing trees, digging in the dirt, and bringing home the local wildlife (I still do not understand why my mom would not let me keep the tadpoles).

Craig is not so much an outdoors kind of guy. He is happiest behind a computer. He says he doesn't like fishing (but he has only been once, so how can he really know?), except in the occasional video game. He mostly refuses to help me in the garden (though for our anniversary he did help with some weeding).

We always assumed Cameron took more after his dad. He is ALWAYS playing video games. Or watching youtube videos about playing video games. Or talking about things that happened in games he is playing. It never really occurred to us that hidden somewhere inside him he had the Outdoorsman gene.

A few months ago my dad offered to take Cameron for a night. My dad is a very outdoorsy kind of guy. He loves camping and fishing, and he took us out frequently when we were all kids. So when Cameron went to visit, of course he took him fishing. We weren't sure how Cameron would like it. Fishing is something that requires a lot of patience. What five year old has any of that?

Turns out, Cameron loves fishing! They stayed out all day, and Cameron caught THREE fish!! This was one proud mamma! I let my dad have the fish, though. Cameron, like me, loves to fish, but hates to eat them.
So this past weekend we planned a short camping trip with Craig's cousin Clin and his family. We have been planning this for quite some time. We decided to head up to Echo Lake in the Uintah's. For anyone that has been up that way, you know that the ONLY way up is a on a rocky road (more like small boulder road), using 4 wheel drive. It was very slow going. But so worth it! We were pretty high up (10,000ft), so it was pleasantly cool. There were no towns or highways anywhere around us, so the stars at night were spectacular. We even saw the ribbon of the Milky Way!

We roughed it for the weekend. We could not park the cars at the campsite, so we had to make a small hike, which we did several times to get everything from the cars. There were also no bathrooms, but we brought some shovels;-) Dinner was hot dogs roasted over the fire, and I made breakfast tacos in the morning.

I regret that I did not get a fishing license. Their were some small trout in the lake that would have been fun to go after. Clin brought his fishing gear and was able to catch a couple. By the time Cameron got out to the lake the fish had already gone to deeper water. Also, little Madison was so loud that she scared off all the fish. We don't really blame her, though. She's only two. I did catch a little snake though. That was kind of cool:-)

My biggest regret? No pictures. I know, sad. I brought my "big" camera, but I didn't have my tripod (it broke), so I didn't feel like getting it out. For snapshots I brought my little P&S, but Craig packed it away somewhere and I couldn't find it. Craig should know better than to touch my cameras.

All in all, it was a fun weekend, and we are hoping to do it again. BTW, Cameron's favorite part was sleeping outside in a tent. He looked so cute in his sleeping bag, and said he was "so cozy". Craig and I were not. Our air mattress sprung a small leak. And I had Orion (the dog) with me because he was freezing, so it was a little cramped in my sleeping bag.

On a final note, I am starting to harvest some of my garden vegetables. I have already had a pint or two of strawberries, which I am hoping to jam. And yesterday I harvested my first bell peppers ever! They are puney, but I am happy to have them. I left one on the bush for a little longer, and it turned red, the other is still green.

I also noticed that I have one tomato that is starting to turn red, and a whole bunch more that are starting to come out. I love fresh garden tomatoes!

Well, this post has certainly gone on long enough. But since I am not the greatest at keeping my blog regularly updated, y'all get a an extra portion:-)

Cameron Lost His First Tooth!!!

Yup, you read that right - Cameron's first baby tooth came out today! The adult tooth is already half grown in, but it grew in behind the baby tooth. As a result, it took a lot longer for the old tooth to fall out. I am hoping the new tooth moves forward a bit. But genetics dictates this kid is bound to have some crooked bottom teeth.

The tooth has been wiggly for a few weeks now, and I have checked on it every day to see how it was coming along. We just kept telling Cameron to keep wiggling it, so it could come out. Today when I checked it was just barely hanging in there, so I knew it was time. I just reached in an plucked it out. He hardly even felt it. And boy was he proud!! The tooth is already waiting under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy:-) Craig came home a few minutes later and Cameron was right there at the door to show off his new "hole" to his daddy. Yes, a proud day indeed!

It is crazy to think that my little boy is losing teeth already. Who gave him permission to grow up? But I love all these new and exciting moments in his life.

Craig asked me to snap one of him and Cameron together. It's funny how a quick snapshot can become your most favorite photo. I LOVE these two boys!!

My First Bridal Show!

This past Thursday I received a call from Jan Schuurman of Shoootz Photography inviting me to participate as a vendor in their Fantazy Bridal Show which took place at the Wight House in Bountiful. Except the show was this past Saturday!! That gave me only 36 hours to put everything together. I have never participated in a bridal show before, and I had NO studio samples of brides or weddings. A little odd, yes, but everything I have is of portraits. Pretty much the only thing I had was my business cards.

Thanks to the fabulous people at Inkley's in Layton, UT and to Chester at Postnet in North Salt Lake, I was able to pull together a nice presentation. I still did not have samples of albums and such, but I still think my booth looked nice. And I had an added bonus in that my booth had a very large flat screen TV with a DVD player so that I could run a sideshow of some of my favorite weddings.

Saturday was a very hot day, and I think there was another bridal show happening elsewhere. So maybe that is what kept the brides away. At any rate, there were really not a lot of people in attendance. I am not sure if anything will come out of it for me, but I still had fun.

My booth was right next to the best cake decorators ever! Tricia of Sweet Perfection had the BEST tasting cake I have ever had!!! Her Tuxedo cake was really an out of body experience. And her cakes were beautiful as well.

I sat across from Rusty Sessions of Sidewinder Photography. We had a great time bantering back and forth and strutting our stuff, lol. It was all in good fun, though. I did find out that Rusty was one of the judges at the Davis County Fair last year that awarded one of my images with Best of Show, so I give him a big kudos (even if he IS a Canonite!).

Here are some images of me and my booth. In the future I may try some of the bigger shows as well.

We went to the zoo, zoo, zoo

I am not sure how many people will get the reference to that title. It comes from an old children's song, "We're Going to the Zoo." Very catchy little tune:-)

So, indeed we did visit the zoo this past week. We went with Craig's cousin Clin and his family as part of our holiday festivities. It was very hot, and I don't like all the hills our zoo has, but it was still fun to spend time with family and enjoy watching the animals (two of my favorite past times, as I am sure you all know).

Here's a funny story. I had brought my big camera with me because I could use my long telephoto lens, which is very useful in taking photos of animals who are fairly far from where I am at. I guess people thought I was there working on a project, because people kept asking me if I was a professional, and what I was working on. Apparently lots of people have "big, fancy cameras", but very few have a telephoto lens. Go figure. At one point a couple stopped me and asked me all sorts of questions about photography and cameras and such. I was more than happy to share what I knew, since photography is also a favorite past time;-)

Despite what people say about my "big fancy camera", I was actually wishing for an upgrade. I was using an older model, which has only 6mp, and is terrible in low light. Way to much noise. Still, I made it work for me, and I got a few nice images to remember my visit.

Love these cute kids!

Madison LOVED the little kitties. She wanted to pet all of them. Can you blame her?

I don't often use direct flash, but it really helped bring out this guys iridescent feathers.

So stinkin' cute!!


I wish our pigeons were this pretty. Then I might not be quite so annoyed by them.

Squirrel! There were a few of these just randomly running around the zoo. And everyone had to stop and check them out, lol.

Zuri! She is almost a year old, but such a cute baby! I am not sure I have ever seen a baby elephant in person before.

My boy. Love him!

Our "New" Piano

I have been wanting a piano for ages. Pretty much since I moved out of my parents' house. I always had a piano growing up, and it was very well used. Most of us kids at least tinkered with it, some of us played it more enthusiastically.

I never really had any formal piano lessons growing up. I pretty much taught myself to play, suing the Reader's Digest Children's Songbook. I had no idea what the ABC thing was all about. The first note I knew was middle C, which for me was 1. The next note was 2, and so on. If there was a sharp, it had a + next to the number. There were no -, because they just used the lower number with the + sign. So a B flat was actually 6+.

Once I had all the numbering down I memorized where the notes were placed on the scale. This was I was able to learn how to play melody and harmony on the right hand. The left hand was totally different. I did not have a number scale to follow for those lower notes. So I would start at 1 (middle C), and count the notes backwards to find the one I wanted on the scale. It was hard work! But I persevered, and pretty soon I had those notes memorized as well, and could play simple songs.

I think I got to be pretty decent at playing. Not great, but okay. Since I never had any formal lessons, I never really had anyone to push me when things got tricky. If I felt the work was too much, I simply didn't do it, choosing to stay with the "easy" songs.

When I was at college I was able to take a beginning piano course just for fun. There I learned that everything I had taught myself was pretty much wrong. I had the hardest time figuring out the right fingering. When you are used to doing something one way your entire life, it is really hard to change those habits. I still don't do it the right way. Oh well.

When Craig and I went on our first date, one of the things we did was head down the music practice rooms in the DeJong Concert hall at BYU. I had told him I had composed a few simple songs, and he wanted to hear them. After I had finished, he said he wanted to play some songs for me. And he did. Beautifully. By memory. Yeah, that boy didn't stand a chance after that. His playing totally won my heart, and I was NOT letting anyone else have him! LOL.

For those interested in knowing, Craig's whole family is very musically talented. They all play at least one instrument, and they are all great singers. They love music so much that when my IL's purchased a Grand Piano, they decided to build a whole room for it! No, I am not jealous. Well, okay, a little. But they let me play it whenever I want:-)

Craig and I have been married now for 7 years, but we have never had a piano of our own. A little out of the budget. The only times we got to play was when we visited family that had a piano. Not really often enough for us to keep up on our skills (well, Craig has skills, I just pretend to).

Well, our dreams have come true at last! Not long ago I was sitting in church (one of those rare times when I actually had the day off), and one of the ladies mentioned that she and her husband where moving and had a very large old piano that they didn't want, and were willing to give away if anyone cared to have it. I practically fell out of my seat! I mean that literally. All the ladies around me had a good laugh. And they kindly spoke up for me.

The piano indeed large and old. In fact, it is over 100 years old! Still in pretty good shape, though. It is seriously out of tune (I can't seem to find a tuner that wants to tune it), but I still play it every day. It is such a wonderful thing to have a piano in the home!

And even better, Cameron loves it, too. We probably won't start him on lessons (and yes, I will make sure he gets lessons), until he is eight. Right now he just enjoys tinkering on it and making up little songs. So cute! He definitely has some musical genes in him:-)

And to show off it's loveliness, here are a few images:-)

At the Dino Park

I am a terrible blogger. So many things happen, but I get so busy that I forget to blog about them. By the time I remember, so much time has passed that I feel it is all irrelevant. But some things are still fun to talk about.

Here's one of those things. Recently Craig took Cameron to the Dino Park in Ogden. If you haven't been there, you really need to go! This is a place made just for kids. We won a family pass from Cameron's HeadStart program, so we can go whenever we want.

This time they were having a Father-Child day, so Craig and Cameron went together (I would have gone, too, but I had to work). Cameron loves running around checking out all the dinosaurs. HIs favorite is T-rex (of course!), but the Velociraptor comes in a close second. Hmm, maybe we ought to show him Jurrasic Park - I bet he'd love it.


Cameron is also big into Pokemon, and he has a Poke Ball (the thing the Pokemon stay in when they are not out fighting). Cameron was going around trying to "catch" the dinosaurs in his Poke Ball. This is probably one of my new favorite snapshots that Craig took. I laugh every time I see it!

A Close Shave

It has been a while since I have really updated the blog, but a lot has happened, so I am going to try and play a little catch up.

We had a recent scary experience in our home. Back in mid-March, I noticed our cat Ender was looking a little lethargic. I didn't think too much about it at first. But then one evening I was fixing dinner and he came in the kitchen and plopped himself down in the middle of the floor. He NEVER lies on the floor in the kitchen. I gave him a little nudge to get him to move out of the way, but he would hardly budge. Still, he's a cat, which means he's stubborn by nature, so again, I did not think too much of it. He wandered off after a little while.

Later that evening Craig and I were sitting in the living room when we heard the most pathetic yowling. Seriously, words cannot describe it. We thought it was some weird siren at first. Then the cat came limping in. He looked awful. I followed him into the kitchen, where he collapsed on to the floor.

I checked him over, and found a MASSIVE lump in his belly. It was hard as a rock, and was obviously causing him a great deal of pain. My immediate thought was cancer.
I rushed him to the emergency room (yes, they have ERs for pets!), and the doctor immediately rushed him to the back. Turns out the massive lump was his BLADDER. The poor cat had stones that were blocking his urethra. Which means he couldn't pee. Probably in days. Can you imagine being forced to hold it for DAYS??!!

His Urea and Potassium levels were totally off the charts (as in, so high they literally could not chart it). Doc said that had we waited until morning, he would have been gone. He probably would not have lasted even another few hours. As it was, he was just barely hanging on.

Fortunately, the doc was able to remove the stones and drain the bladder. Ender was in the hospital for several days. The house seemed so different without him. We never realized how much he meant to us until he wasn't there. We knew we loved him, of course, but when he was gone it was like a weird void was left in his place, and none of us liked it. Cameron was particularly upset, and really wanted his cat back!

I am happy to report that all is well with Ender. It has been over a month since the incident, and he is back to his normal self. We were told that his issue is very common in male neutered cats (I remember our cat growing up had a very similar problem). Ender is now on a special diet. It is outrageously overpriced, but it will help keep him well. For us, he is worth it. Our pets are not just animals. They are our family, and we take care of our family.

There is a humerous side to this. They used a catheter to drain the bladder, but they had to shave a little fur on his rear. We have been calling him "Baboon Butt" all month, lol. Fortunately for him, the fur is starting to grow back in.

Love this man!

Just had to share! I was doing a photos for a photography lesson I was preparing, and Craig was my willing subject:-) Yes, I know, he's very handsome! I feel so incredibly blessed (or maybe just lucky!) that I am married to him.

Thoughts on Food

I have noticed lately an increase in the interest of food. People have become quite obsessive about it. They don't just eat it. They talk about it. They blog about it. And they take pictures of it. It seems so odd to me.

Am I the only one that doesn't care about food? I mean, I like to eat. I am not anorexic or anything. But I don't obsess about it. I can cook pretty decent meals (so says my husband), but I don't LIKE to cook. In fact, I hate cooking. I hate having to sit and plan out a meal, gather all the ingredients, and spend an hour or more in the kitchen putting it all together. Simple is good. If I can't put a meal together in under 30 minutes, it isn't worth eating.

And here is another thing. What is this whole deal with "nutrients"? Have you walked through the aisles of the grocery store lately? EVERYTHING has added nutrients. Vitamins of all kinds have been added to our foods, like cereal, margarine, meat, milk. Pick up any one of those products and read the ingredients. There is an insanely long list of stuff you can't pronounce, and a few "real" things. Or sometimes, they are not even real. I see a lot of "artificial" these days. Even my pet food. I recently went to a local supermarket to look for the best pet food, one in which at least the first three ingredients were protein. But there is a whole lot of corn in those foods. For those not in the know, corn is a filler. It is difficult to digest, and holds little nutritional value, except as a starch, which can be sometimes good, but bad if you eat too much of it.

I think food is such a big part of our lives because we HAVE to have it. And since we have to have it, why not have a variety? For people that cook, kudos to you. Keep on cooking, especially for those of us that hate it, lol. But cook good, wholesome foods. Take the fake crap out of your diet. Grow a garden.

I like what Michael Pollan has to say about food: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

If we are going to obsess about food, at least lets do it in a healthy way.

Snakes, Strep, and Stitches

Isn't that a fun title? C'mon, I know you just got the willies. Or maybe the heebie-jeebies. But don't run away just yet. It's not nearly as bad as you might think, I promise;-)Last week the Head Start program put on a big event. It was all about Dinosaurs, so Cameron was really in his element (I think he takes after his daddy!). There were lots of activity booths were he could make fun projects, like a spiffy dino headband and necklace. He loved helping me make the model dinosaur (he insisted on a velociraptor). The model was made out of this stuff called Model Magic by Crayola. It's very soft and moldable and extremely light weight. It was fun!
At the end of the night they had a guy come in and do a reptile show. He was great! he really knew how to connect with the kids, but made it just as fun for the adults. I loved the baby Green Anaconda the best, but Cameron was excited about the giant tortoise and the albino python. BTW, he said that python is still quite young, so still has some growing to do! It was a lot of fun, we learned a lot, and best of all, it was free. We love having Cameron in Head Start because it gives us an opportunity to share fun things with him that we would otherwise not be able to afford.
So last week was Valentine's, but neither Craig nor I were much in the mood to celebrate. We had Strep! Craig was actually pretty lucky. He eats yogurt almost every day. All those probiotics really helped his immune system, so his Strep was pretty low-key - just a sore throat and some soreness. But I HATE yogurt. Truly nasty stuff, IMO. Sadly, this meant nothing to help bolster my immune system, so when the Strep hit, it hit BAD. Muscle soreness everywhere, fatigue, fever, nausea, headache, sore throat - the works!
Fortunately, we were both able to get the antibiotic rump shot. OUCH!!! This actually caused another problem - my neck muscles felt very tight and very painful. It felt like all the vertebrae had been fused together.

We're all better, now, though, thank goodness! We suspect that Craig and I got Strep from Cameron, who had it a couple of weeks ago. He has a very strong immune system, though, and the Strep went away on its own, without the need for the antibiotics.
Speaking of Cameron, we just took him for his five year check-up. He is FINALLY over 40lbs - weighing in at 43lbs 0oz! I can't remember how tall he is. He has excellent vision, and the doc was very impressed with his development. He's a smart cookie! We have been a little worried about his social behaviors, and we are working with a behaviorist to try and find ways for him to interact more with other children. The hardest part for Cameron was getting all his five year shots. There were four of them, and he was NOT happy about it. I had to hold him down, and I think this was the first time I cried when he got shots. It never bothered me before, but his screams this time were just heartbreaking. Fortunately, it will be a good long while before he will need any more shots.
And finally, the stitches! No, not the boo-boo kind. I have recently started learning how to knit! I have some friends that do AMAZING things with knitting and crochet. I have been crocheting for some 20 years (wow, that makes me sound old, doesn't it?), but I have never learned to knit. But I decided to give it a try. And it is HARD! Or at least, it was hard at first. I had no one to show me how to do the stitches. I just had my guide book. So I was basically self-teaching, which is tricky when learning something so detailed. But, I kept going, and I made this:
Yup, that's a cable knit, folks:-) I won't tell you how long it took me to make that, lol. I have also knitted my very first baby hat, which is very cute. But I want to add a knitted flower, so I will post a picture of the whole thing when I get it finished.

I still think I prefer crochet, but it feels good to learn a new skill.

Are you smarter than a 5-year-old?

Last night we were talking to Cameron about how the Earth spins and makes night and day. This was totally cool to him:-) We used a flashlight with his globe. We even pointed to where we lived, so he could tell us if we were in night or day as the globe spun around.

Then, Cameron let us know that the atmosphere on our planet is what creates the bright blue sky. He said if we took the atmosphere away, then the sky would just be black. We could still see, though, because of the light from the sun.

This is something I SHOULD have known, but I didn't. Or rather, I never thought about it before, so it wasn't high on my list of things "to know". So, my five-year-old taught me something. I really didn't expect stuff like this to happen until he was much older. This kid is smart!

And yes, he really did say "atmosphere".

No girls allowed!

We were talking with Cameron about his friends. Cameron has a few "best friends", who he is practically inseparable from. During this conversation, Cameron suddenly exclaimed:

"I want a brother!"

"But what if you get a little sister?" I asked.

"Nooooooooooo!"

Apparently, I am not allowed to have the girl I have always wanted, lol.

Christmas and so forth

I have been CRAZY busy with work lately, so I am just now getting around to blogging about Christmas. I know that sounds like such a cliché excuse, but it's true. The nice thing is that I have ultimate job security - babies are never going to stop being born:-)

So, Christmas. We headed down to sunny Las Vegas, and that made me HAPPY! In case you didn't already know (and if you don't, you don't know me very well), I HATE winter. I hate the cold and the snow. I am a warm weather and sunshine kind of girl. I am still trying to figure out why I live in Utah, but it may have something to do with how so much of my friends and family live here. So I tough it out every winter:-)

Whoops. Sorry for the tangent. Back on track now. Cameron was SUPER excited about Christmas this year. Last year he was just starting to get the whole Santa Clause thing, but this year it was magical! I have noticed that as I have gotten older, Christmas has lost a lot of that "magic spark". But having Cameron has brought so much of that back. Christmas is such a special time for children.

This year Cameron asked Santa for one thing. He just wanted a space ship:-) Cameron is into anything and everything space related, so this request came as no surprise. And of course, Santa delivered! Cameron got a little model space shuttle with astronauts. For the first few days he would not let it go. It went everywhere with him! But as soon as we got home, he made a special place for it on his shelf, so that "he can always look at it." He still plays with the astronauts a lot.

Cameron also got a model planet kit, where we can paint the planets (we have done the sun and four of the planets so far), several space related books, and LOTS of dinosaurs. That is another favorite of his. I sometimes make up stories for him - "The Adventures of Charlie and Bob". Two dinosaurs (a stegosaurus and a triceratops) who go on many fantastic adventures and meet lots of new dinosaurs. Cameron is excited that we have more dinosaurs to add to the adventures. Finally, I made Cameron a warm pair of jammies with a space theme. I looked all over in the stores, and couldn't find any, so I decided to make some. They are his new favorite pair of jammies, of course:-) After Christmas, Cameron used some of his gift money to buy Spore: Galactic Adventure. For those not in the know, Spore is a computer game where you can create creatures and have them evolve. It is a pretty simple game, but gets a little more complex as the game goes on. The upgrade is all about space adventures. Cameron loves being able to create his own worlds.

I got two things this year that I was especially excited about. The first was a gift card to Massage Envy. I have never had a professional massage, but I have been wanting to try it for a LONG time, so Craig surprised me:-) I already used the gift card, and I LOVED it! I was a little sore afterwards, but it felt good. I might have to go back again!

The second big thing was my new point and shoot camera. it may seem silly for me to want a little "dinky" camera, but sometimes bringing my big camera around can be such a hassle. DSLRs are bulky, and fairly conspicuous. For those wanting to know, it is a Nikon Coolpix L20.

Shortly after Christmas we got to celebrate my niece's birthday. Aubrey turned 4 this year, and had a princess party. EVERYTHING is pink and princesses with her. I often wonder what I will do if we have a little girl who is so into pink and princesses. Not really my thing, never has been. Maybe I can get her excited about space, too:-)

Now that the holidays are over, it is back to work. I am working on some new promotions for my studio that I am really excited about, and of course I am very busy taking photos for Bella Baby Photography. Love those newborns! Cameron is doing very well in school, and now reads whole sentences. He has made several new friends this year, but especially Hayden and Damien - his two best friends! They are inseparable, and have a lot of fun together. Craig is also staying busy at work, and in his downtime he enjoys playing Magic: The Gathering and playing video games. Orion (our dachshund) turned a year old this December. I love him to death, but I HATE his chewing habit (which he apparently inherited from his mom). He's smart, though, and knows LOTS of tricks. His favorite is "beg". This is normally very hard to teach a dog, but he started doing it all on his own, and does it ALL THE TIME. It's his was of getting attention. Do you think it works?

We'll see how long it takes me to blog the next time:-)

Icing on Top

How about a cheerier topic? My life is not all dark and bleak as some might think. We do have some happier moments around here as well (it is what keeps me thinking positive). And what better topic is there to talk about than cake? Well, okay, photography, of course. But that is why I have a whole separate blog for that!

Once upon a time, I was really big into cake decorating. LOVED it. Except the clean up. HATED that part. All those little icing tips. Yuck. Anyway, I stopped doing ti for a couple of reasons. First, we moved into a teeny tiny apartment. You need LOTS of space when you do cakes, especially large orders like wedding cakes. We had cakes everywhere. It was too much for us. Secondly, I found that the more cakes I did, the more my hands started to hurt. Like really hurt. They would cramp up so bad, I couldn't even uncurl them from around the icing bags. Found out I was starting to develop a little arthritis.

I still do some smaller cakes for special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries, the occasional holiday. Or when I teach a class on cake decorating.

My mom teaches Home Ec (it's not actually called that anymore, but the new big long fancy name is too hard to remember) at Bryant Middle School in SLC. Since the beginning of the year, we planned on having me go in to teach the 8th graders how to decorate cakes. The plan was for me to demonstrate how to decorate the cake one day, then have the kids do their own little cupcakes the next.

The morning I was supposed to go in for the demonstration we had a NASTY snow storm. The roads were terrible, and it took me nearly two hours to drive to the school. I completely missed the first period class:-( But, I was in time for the Second period. The demonstration went great! The kids loved the little "gingerbread" people (I hate actual gingerbread, so I used chocolate sugar cookies). The cake was covered in gumdrops, sprinkles, cookies, and candycanes. Yumm!

The next day, the first period did get to decorate their cupcakes, then proceeded to have a food fight in the hallways after class. I was so ticked off! My mom and I stayed up past midnight two night in a row trying to finish all the cupcakes and icing. My mom had their cooking privileges revoked for the remainder of the year. But I still went in the next day to make up for the morning I missed. They were a rowdy class. People who teach middle school are either very brave, or very insane. Maybe a little of both.

At any rate, the cakes turned out great, and the teachers enjoyed it (I gave the first cake tot he faculty, but kept the second for myself). Funny thing about cake: I love to decorate it, but I don't like to eat it much. The cake was only a 6 in cake, but we didn't finish it all. We are just not cake eaters. Sad, I know. But here is my cute little Christmas cake in all it glory!

Cheated

Last year, Craig and I decided to adopt. We have always wanted more children, but it just did not seem to be happening on our own. The doctors were perplexed. There did not seem to be anything wrong with either of us, but for some reason, we were just unable to conceive.

Well, the economy has taken a heavy toll on our little family. We were both unemployed for the entire summer and then some. Although we both have jobs now, and are doing a little better, we have sunk deeper in debt, and it will be a LONG time before we unbury ourselves. As such, adoption has become a distant dream. Our credit is so bad that there is no chance of any agency accepting us int their program, and it will take years to rebuild our credit, especially on our current income.

We briefly toyed with the idea of doing infertility treatments, but these can be very expensive, and are not a guarantee. So, the only hope we have right now of having more children is if I were to get pregnant on my own, which is unlikely.

We had just been coming to the realization that more children are simply not in our future, when lo and behold, my period was late. My cycles are as regular as clockwork, and extremely predictable. Anything outside the norm puts us on sudden alert. I didn't tell anyone for several days, waiting to see what would happen. As the days passed, I began to have a little hope. And then a little more. I could just envision showing Craig a positive pregnancy test on Christmas morning.

I hadn't taken a test at this point because I HATE taking those tests. There is NOTHING worse than seeing a big fat negative staring back at you. But, I knew I had to do it sooner or later, so I went out and got a couple last night, planning to use on this morning.

Well, late last night I suddenly started cramping fiercely. I knew immediately what it meant, and sure enough, within a couple of hours I started bleeding.

My feelings were a turmoil. Anger, hurt, betrayal. Betrayed by my body, and yes, I felt betrayed by God. After so many years, why was I given something to hope for, only to have it ripped away? I felt cheated. Ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to be a mother, and I have always wanted a lot of children. As I stare reality in the face, it looks more and more like that wish will never come true.

I spent several hours crying alone into my pillow. I hadn't told Craig anything, so it seemed silly to wake him up. But as the tears slid down my face, I decided I had two choices. I could either wallow in self-pity, hating God for what I DON'T have, or I could move on, and be grateful for what I DO have.

I have chosen the latter. Yes, I am disappointed, and I still feel hurt. But I am going to pick up the fragmented pieces of my heart and get on with my life. I have an incredible husband who loves me, and I have a little boy who brings so much joy into my life. I have the best job I could eve have - I get to photograph newborns every day! Although I cannot have any more of my own, it is such a blessing to be around others, each one a tiny miracle.

My life has always been full of trials. At times, they seem overwhelming, and the burden is great. But when I give that burden over to the Lord, I am able to see the light in my life, and the many things He has blessed me with.

Thanksgiving and a BIG BIRTHDAY

What an. . .interesting holiday we had. First, at the beginning of the week we found out that my sis, Jenny, had to go in for emergency surgery. She had appendicitis, and some other complications. Surgery went fine, but then the nurse OD'd her on pain meds and she lapsed into a coma. Not good. The pulled her out of it, and she was actually home in time for Thanksgiving. Crazy! She is doing pretty well now.

For Thanksgiving, we had all the rest of my family at my house, even my bro Bill, who we hardly ever see. I had to work in the morning, but I left instructions on what to cook, so that by the time i got home we could just do some finishing touches and be ready to eat. I worked doggedly all morning, and rushed home, only to find that hardly anything had been done! Only the turkey was finished. The excuse? They got caught up playing video games. I am REALLY starting to hate video games.

So, then I rushed around the kitchen, finishing everything up. Despite the chaos, I think the food turned out pretty good. My favorite were the deviled eggs. Yum!!! And no, I am not going to post a picture of them. Y'all should know what turkey and deviled eggs look like!

It was great having everyone over for Thanksgiving. This was my first year hosting it, and I think it went pretty well. I just wish we had a little more space to put everyone!

As many of you know, I just celebrated THAT birthday. The one that has the 3 and the 0 in it. Yipes! Somedays I really am starting to feel old, but I think that has more to do with me working so much lately. Although, I am VERY grateful for the job I have. We didn't do anything for my birthday, but I did get the day off from work (yay!), and Craig made dinner and brownies for dessert.

Here is irony for you: I love decorating cakes, but I don't like to eat them. Go figure.

Last night Craig and I went out to his work's Christmas Party at the Timberline Steakhouse in Ogden. Seemed to be a very popular place, but I did not think their food was anything grandiose. I guess I just have a soft spot for Outback and Black Angus:-) Great food, low price.

Now we are gearing up for Christmas. Cameron asks nearly every day if it is time to open presents, lol. He is getting some cool space toys this Christmas. He LOVES to hear all about outer space and astronauts. And yes, he is a big Star Wars fan, lol. I love seeing him get so excited to learn about something. This is such a great age for him!

Don't Leave Me!

Craig often goes out to play Magic: The Gathering (a popular trading card game, for those not in the know) on Friday nights. It's his "guy time". It's fine by me, since that means he won't beg me to play the game with him, lol.

Cameron is not a fan of "guy time" when it does not involve him. Every Friday night he gets annoyed and upset that his daddy goes out to play without him. He REALLY loves his daddy.

Tonight, Craig announced he was leaving to go, and gave Cameron a hug. Cameron clung tightly to him, and pleaded, "Don't leave me!" I have no idea where this kid picks up this stuff, lol. It would have been heartbreaking if it wasn't such an unexpected thing to hear from our five year old. Instead we just busted out laughing. What mean parents we are. :-P