I have a new found respect for foster parents. It is HARD WORK!
Craig and I have been searching for ways to "grow" our family. We recently took a serious look at becoming foster parents. Because the state helps quite a bit, we felt this would be a great idea for us. We already had a spare room, a bed and a crib, plenty of toys, etc. Only the child was missing.
So we started going to the classes that they require as part of the licensing procedure. We learned a lot. We learned things we didn't want to know. We learned that people do terrible things, and a lot of time they do these terrible things to their own children. So sad! Heartbreaking, in fact.
We thought, "We could give these children a safe home. We could give them love. We could give them hope." But then we were told that the state ALWAYS wants to send these children back to their bio parents whenever possible. Even if we feel that is just not cool.
Some of these kids have been through way too much in their short lives. They need A LOT of attention. Which is, of course, a problem for us, since we both work full time. I even work most weekends.
Putting it all together, we decided that fostering is probably not such a good fit for us after all. It would be very difficult to spend the time with them that they really need. And we know that we will probably become attached to them, and it would be very difficult to give some of them back to their parents. I think I could handle it a little better than Craig. He is an all or nothing kind of guy. But it would still be hard.
So, here we are back at square one again. I find we are here A LOT. I don't think I like square one very much. It means there is no progress. We want more than anything to have more children, but nothing has worked out for us. In fact, fostering was pretty much the last step for us. Now that that has fallen through, we are pretty much thinking Cameron is going to be our one and only. It kills me to think that. I always wanted a big family. Never thought I would only have one. I love him like crazy, but I would give anything for him to have a brother or sister. Perhaps it is just not meant to be.
3 comments:
Oh, Sarah, Don't give up! Yeah, it's a lot of work to have foster children, and they come with their own assortment of baggage, but you can make a huge difference in someone's life! There is a family in our ward that has had 27 foster children and has adopted 8 of them! Those are good odds-almost a third. I know lots of people who could be a resource for you on fostering and adopting if you want to talk to someone.
We're thinking of you!
Jenny, our main issue is that we just do not feel we have the time to devote to these children. Most of them need a little extra TLC, and with both of us working full time (me on the weekends as well), we just feel that it would not work out very well.
That's so hard when even your last resort doesn't work. I know I could never be a foster parent. I've known quite a few and it's a very demanding, heartbreaking job.
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