We recently had an experience that has changed our perspective. This past week we had the opportunity to babysit my little nephew (10 months) overnight. For the most part, he is a happy little guy, and loves to play. He was NOT happy when it was bedtime or naptime, and he really did not like when I left a room.
It was fun having him over, but it has been a looooong time since we have had a baby in our home, and we had forgotten how much work they can be! I spent a good deal of time cleaning up after him, playing with him, feeding him, etc.
For so long we have been trying to have another baby. We thought that was what we wanted. It was always our plan to have a big family. But despite all our efforts, it just hasn't happened. This has been a really hard pill to swallow, and I have had a very hard time dealing with it. I thought this was what I needed to be happy. To fill fulfilled.
I was wrong.
I have spent so much time longing for the child I don't have, that I have blinded myself to the blessings I have already been given. So many good things have happened to us. We have the most wonderful, bright, happy little boy. The joy he brings to our home in immeasurable.
Now that Cameron is in school I can focus much more attention on my career, and good things are coming from it. I really enjoy what I do, but it takes a great deal of dedication, perseverance, and hard work to run a business. Craig is also able to dedicate more of his time to the things he loves.
I always thought I couldn't really be happy with only one child. But the truth is, I AM happy. I just couldn't see it before. Now we understand what our lives could be like if there was another baby. While we would never turn away such a blessing, we no longer yearn for it like we did. Our lives have changed, and with it our perspective. I don't know that we will ever have more children, but I know that even if we don't, it's okay. I have already been given something great.
