Miraculously NOT pregnant

I don't get it. I really don't get it.

This past cycle I was put on Clomid to help stimulate my ovaries and hopefully produce more eggs, which in turn would give us a much greater chance of getting pregnant. On cycle day 21 I went in for some bloodwork. They wanted to test my progesterone levels to see if I ovulated. I was pretty certain I had. Well, I just got the results back, and my levels were at 54.27!!!! That is RIDICULOUSLY high. A normal non-pregnant woman would be expected to have levels of around 8-10, maybe a little higher. But not THAT high. So imagine the nurse's surprise when i told her I was almost certain I am NOT pregnant. How is it even possible? Everything was perfect. PERFECT! And still no baby. I have no symptoms, and i had a negative urine test. Seriously, what is going on? One would think I would be pregnant with twins right now, but no such luck. An unsolved mystery. I hate mysteries.

Picture a family. . .

My family, that is! Yup, here we all are, in all our glory. Or something like that. When my mom graduated, the whole clan came in to help celebrate. And of course, that means a family photo shoot:-) Okay, it is no easy task to get a good sized group of people all looking and smiling in the same direction, plus focus on composition, lighting, focus, etc. Add to the fact that I had to be IN these photos, and you have one challenging task before you. But, I think I pulled it off fairly well. Here are some of the highlights. You can see more over on my photo blog.

I love to scrapbook, but I usually prefer paper scrapping. I love the feel of all the different textures. But this time I wanted to create a page that I could share with other members of my family. Digital scrapping was the way to go! This is my first ever digital LO, and I have to say I am pretty proud of it! Don't know that I will make a regular thing of it, but I have to say the clean-up time was pretty nice, LOL.

My mom, the Grad:-)

I know Mother's Day is right around the corner. So I would like to take this opportunity to tell my mom how much I love her and admire her. I love her determination, her ability to face obstacles head on, her loyalty to her family, and I love her for all of the sacrifices she has made. Possibly the biggest sacrifice she has made was her education. Her dream has always been to get a degree. But life wasn't going to make it easy for her! Still, she never gave up her dream, and only a couple of weeks ago, she received her Bachelor's degree from Brigham Young University! Way to go, MOM!

Here are some of the highlights:

All the grads in the Marriott Center. Mom is in there somewhere:-)

Our favorite organist, Brian, and his beautiful assistant, Vanna White. I mean, Alicia:-)
Valedictorian. Does anybody ever really listen to the speeches? BORING!!! Sorry, but I just can't get excited about sitting through a bunch of speeches, especially when you know something really cool is about to happen!
Okay, this wasn't so bad. These girls sang "The Prayer", one of my favorite songs. They did a beautiful job.
The Dean. Yet another speech. There were others, too. *yawn*
Alright! The Action! My mom giving a big smile as she was handed her diploma case. No, there's nothing inside it. She has to get that later.
The Happy Graduate:-)
My dad presenting my mom with a lei. She really liked it!
A montage of photos I did with her.
My very favorite. BYU's logo is Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve. I felt it was very fitting for this photo. I can't help but cry every time I see this. I am so proud of my mom and her huge accomplishment. Congrats, mom! You're the best!

If you feel so inclined, you can see more images from our photoshoot on my photography blog.

Unexplained infertility

So, I went to see my doc yesterday. Seems I am there a lot, these days. Anyway, we discussed the results of all the tests we have had done in the past several weeks, and he has come to the conclusion that there is no scientific reason why we have not been able to get pg, particularly when we were successful in the past. So, I have now been officially diagnosed with Unexplained Secondary Infertility. There is not much they can do, except put me on Clomid and hope that it will increase our chances of getting pg.

We are just going to keep going and doing what we can. Obviously, the Lord has a hand in this, and we need to continue to be patient - not always an easy thing! Wouldn't it be so nice if the Lord would let us in on the plans he has for us sometimes?

Easter

Still playing Catch-up. Hey, YOU try working full time, trying to run a business, taking care of a kid, and the house, and still find time to even think about posting on a blog!

Anyway, Easter was really nice this year. Cameron was excited to wake up and find what the Easter Bunny had brought him. It was quite the haul!After church we went over to my parent's house. Cameron got to try his hand at dying Easter eggs. His favorite color was purple. Every time we tried to take the egg out of the dye, he wanted us to put it back, so it could be "more purple".


Once the eggs had dried my dad took them outside to hide. The Cameron and my sister Amanda went out to find them. Cameron has really sharp eyes, and was able to find some well hidden eggs.



After the egg hunt, we had a nice family dinner with everyone. Mom, Dad, Amanda, me, Craig, Cameron, Matt, and Christina. I love when we get together as a family:-)

Um, Happy Birthday, Aubrey?

The problem with being a photographer and taking lots of photos, is that sometimes I take so many, dump them onto the computer, and completely forget about them! I know, it's terrible. I was going through some of my folders today, and came across these delightful photos of my niece, Aubrey, on her 2nd birthday - back in JANUARY! I feel so pathetic. Anyway, if you missed out on the fun, here are some highlights.

This cake was so cute! I loved the little frogs. And for those who may be wondering, no, I did not make it. Taking pictures of cakes is sooo much cleaner!
Opening presents. There was quite a mountain of them to go through, and each time she opened one she wanted to play with it, of course, LOL.

Little Princess. Isn't she just adorable?
Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Possibly the most obnoxious gift she got, LOL. Not only is it noisy when it bounces, but it also plays music. Loudly. It's absolutely perfect for her:-)
Aubrey decided she wanted to cut the cake.
And eat it.
She loved her two little candles. And I love this photo! I think it really captures the wonderment that every child has. Happy Belated Birthday, Aubrey!

Hard Times

Yesterday was a BAD day! it seemed like everything was going wrong. I think I was PMSing big time, which was depressing me more than normal. It was odd, because even though I knew I shouldn't be thinking negative thoughts, my head wouldn't let go! Weird. That doesn't happen very often these days.

Anyway, I am feeling a lot of pressure from work right now, in more ways than one. I do A LOT of driving for my job. When they hired me, I had to show that i had a valid driver's license. Well, I don't. There is a hold on my license because when I got it I was asked if I had any history of depression, to which I answered in the affirmative. Unbeknownst to me, they then put hold on the license, but failed to mention that when they issued it to me. I didn't know until i moved to Vegas and tried to get a new license. In order to get the hold taken off, I have to have a signed medical release from a doctor stating that I am not going to drive myself off a cliff in an act of desperation. Or something like that. It's pretty ridiculous. I live in Happy Valley, UT - Prozac capitol of the world! EVERYONE here is depressed. If you can't drive just because you have some sort of depression, the streets would be empty! Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but you get the idea. At any rate, I have now been suspended from working until I can get this straightened out. After calling 20 different doctor's offices (that is NOT an exaggeration), I finally found one that will see me on Monday.

So, I may get that taken care of, but I may have to quit my job anyway. As mentioned, I do A LOT of driving. the company pays the regular hourly rate for drive time, plus $.10 a mile. It's not enough! Most of what I am earning pays for gas and daycare, and there is hardly anything left over to make the job worth my while. Craig wants me to work at the call center he is at - a thought I absolutely dread. Yes, it would be more money, but then I really WOULD be depressed.

What we would both really like is for me to be able to work full time with my photography business. Just 3 weddings a month could be enough for us to get by. but building a business takes time, and you also need capitol, which of course we don't have. What an annoyance! We'll get there eventually, it's just the road gets a little bumpy on the way.

And speaking of bumpy roads, here is the latest update on our TTC journey. I FINALLY got in to see a doctor. I was feeling it was about time. He ran some blood tests, which came back normal, so the next step for me is an HSG. That is where they inject some dye in to my uterus which will show if I have any blockage in my tubes. My doc seems to think this is the most likely culprit. He's also having Craig do a semen analysis, but only as a precaution. He is pretty sure that Craig is fine, but just wants to make sure. If there is some blockage, hopefully it will not be too bad and they can clear it out there. If it is bad, then they can either do a surgery to correct it, or we can move on to IVF. The surgery would be good, because that could open the way for more children in the future as well. However, it is a little risky, so that is something to think about. On the other hand, IVF may help us conceive, but it is very expensive. It is covered on our insurance, but we still have to pay the deductible. So many choices!

And here is one more road block. Cameron is not doing well at daycare. We were really hoping he would have adjusted by now, but every day is the same. He cries throughout the day for Mommy and Daddy, eats very little, and does not interact much with the other children. he has some good moments, and has shown a little improvement, but not as much as we would have liked. Right now they have him in with the younger 2 year olds. He towers over them, and I worry about that. Not to mention I don't think it is beneficial to his social skills to be in with the kids who have none at all! We are having a parent-teacher conference to discuss the matter and talk about solutions.

The good news is that Cameron is doing very well otherwise. His speech is improving more and more every day. He knows his colors very well, can count to 10, and recognizes many letters on sight. he is still totally addicted to video games, which is why we like having him in daycare. He gets to do so much more! We do worry about his eating habits. He weighs exactly the same now as he did one year ago! But he is lots taller, so he has thinned out quite a bit (still has some cute chipmunk cheeks!). He laughs a lot, and loves to make up games and play pretend. He loves swords, and has recently taken a liking to knives, so we have to be VERY careful to keep them well out of his reach.

Well, that's all. Kind of a long and depressing post. That's called Life, folks. We just keep pushing though and hope something better is going to come along soon.

Would you like to take a survery?

1. Were you named after anyone?
• No. My mom just really liked the name.
  
2. When was the last time you cried?
• Yesterday as I was catching up on Oprah. Her shows can be so touching!
  
3. Do you like your handwriting?
• Not really.
  
4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
• Turkey, sliced really thin.
  
5. Do you have kids?
• Cameron, age 3. Been working on #2 for about 20 months now.
  
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
• Possibly. I have a really outgoing personality, which I like, but sometimes I can be very talkative, which I don't like.
  
7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
• All the time!
  
8. Do you still have your tonsils?
• Yup.
  
9. Would you bungee jump?
• I would have before kids and marriage. Now I won't risk it.
  
10. What is your favorite cereal?
• Cookie Crisp! Yes, I like kids' cereals!
  
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
• Yes.
  
12. Do you think you are strong?
1. Emotionally, yes. Physically, no.
   
13. What is your favorite ice cream?
• Cookies and cream.
  
14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
• Their personality. I don't pay much attention to appearance until after I get to know them.
  
15. Red or pink?
1. Red all the way! Pink is just gross!
   
16. What is your least favorite thing about you?
1. My nose. it has a bump in the middle. Others say they don't notice. I say they are blind.
   
17. Who do you miss the most?
• My friends. All of them. Anyone want to visit?
  
18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you?
• Sure.
  
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
• Black and Black
  
20. What was the last thing you ate?
• Fruit snacks
  
21. What are you listening to right now?
• The humming of the computer.
  
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
• Wisteria. Isn't that the best name? It's a really pretty pale purple.
  
23. Favorite smells?
• My husband, my son after a bath, and baking brownies
  
24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
• My husband
  
25. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
• Yup. Didn't think I would, but she turned out to be okay after all;-)
  
26. Favorite sports to watch?
• I only watch BYU football.
  
27. Hair color?
• Blonde
  
28. Eye color?
• Dark blue, with green right around the pupil
  
29. Do you wear contacts?
• On occasion. They dry out in my eyes, which is supremely annoying, so I usually jsut wear glasses.
  
30. Favorite food?
• Steak, medium rare.
  
31. Scary movies or happy endings?
• Happy Endings. I hate scary movies.
  
32. Last movie you watched?
• Music and Lyrics. Cute movie:-)
  
33. What color shirt are you wearing?
• Navy blue with sparkley glitter all over.
  
34. Summer or winter?
• Summer. I hate the cold.
  
35. Hugs or kisses?
• Hugs from friends, Kisses from my husband and son.
  
36. Favorite dessert?
• Brownies. No better thing in the world!
  
37. Most likely to respond?
• No one ever responds. I sometimes wonder why I even keep this blog. Is anybody actually reading it?
  
38. Least likely to respond?
• Same as above.
  
39. What book are you reading right now?
• I am actually not reading a book. Well, there is an e-book called Women and Money by Suse Orman, but that doesn't really count.
  
40. What is on your mousepad?
• Blue.
  
41. What did you watch on TV last night?
• Mythbusters, who were busting MacGyver myths. I was in heaven!
  
42. Favorite sound?
• When my little boy laughs
  
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
• Beatles.
  
44. What is the farthest you've been from home?
• Turkey
  
45. Do you have a special talent?
• I am good at a lot of things, like art and photography. I can also flip a peanut M&M from the tip of my nose into my mouth.
  
46. Where were you born?
• Provo, UT
  
47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back?
• I would be ecstatic if ANYONE wrote back!
  

BEWARE OF SCAMMERS!!!!

For a long time Craig and I have discussed off and on about getting Cameron into modeling/acting. Nothing big, just something to help add to his college fund, and maybe get him interested in something more than videogames. Cameron has such a laid back personality and is very easy to work with. And he's cute;-)

Well, we found one agency (TRU Talent Management) that we thought was great. At first. They seemed ligit (had good standing with BBB), and everything seemed to be in order, so we signed a contract with them. BAD IDEA! ALWAYS do your research, and be sure it's thorough!

Only two days after signing the contract, Cameron was scheduled of a photoshoot. Now, I am a professional photographer, and I feel perfectly capable of doing all my own photos and editing. So when we went in, I explained that to them. They normally have a policy that states that only THEY can do the photos, editing, etc. I told them that if they were not willing to work with me, I would go elsewhere. So they decided to let me do the photos, but were not willing to renegotiate the contract. I told them I needed to think about it a little more and talk it over with Craig, and they said that would be okay.

Two days later I called to tell them we would not be interested in their services, and wanted to cancel the contract. They told me no, that I only had 48 hours to cancel form the time I signed (a point they failed to mention, and which was not written on the contract), and demanded ALL FUNDS IMMEDIATELY! Yikes! Of course, we are furious, and will be taking legal action. How can a company demand payment when no services were provided? Such a scam! Rule #1: IF YOU HAVE TO PAY MONEY TO GET MONEY, IT'S A SCAM!!! That seems pretty obvious, but these people were pretty sneaky. They are duping a lot of people. I want to put a stop to it!

However, this has not spoiled us on the idea of getting Cameron into acting/modeling. We just need to find a GOOD agency. Meanwhile, I am building up Cameron's portfolio. Here are some photos we have done in the last couple days.

Tribute to Gordon B. Hinckley

There are few times when a piece of news is heard and felt throughout the world. Today we lost a great man, Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley. I have been around a few years, and I remember other prophets. But they never had so much impact on my life as Pres. Hinckley did. I loved his willpower, his energy, his great love. I felt such a strong connection to him, though I never had the opportunity to meet him personally. What a great example of love and life he shared with the world! There are very few who have walked this earth that have accomplished as much as he has. I will miss his quick wit, his humor, his great example of service, his love for the church and his family. His love for his wife was such a wonderful example for me in my marriage, and I hope that Craig and I will share that some deep love for each other as Pres. Hinckley shared with his with, Marjorie. He was true to his faith, his family, his country, and his world. His influence upon this earth will be felt for many years to come, and his great legacy will live on forever. We thank thee O God for a Prophet!!!!

Whoa! Time for an update!

I apologize for my lack of attention to the blog recently. But I have a good excuse! In case you didn't already know, we have relocated to Utah! Woohoo! I can't say I wholly regret living in Vegas. I know that if we didn't move there, I certainly would not be in my current career path. In fact, I beleive that's why the Lord wanted us to go there in the first place. But it definitely wasn't always fun, and sometimes it was just downright dangerous!

We now have a nice 3 bedroom apartment in North Las Vegas, and we love it! Okay, well, not so much the freezing cold temperatures. But we like the area, we like that the chapel is only 50 yards from our front door, and we like our neighbors! Imagine that!

Craig has accepted a job at a call center temporarily until he can get hired at a bank. Just before he was supposed to graduate we discovered he was deficient in a GE credit. He tried to get out of it, but the college was adamant that he take it. The credit is to fulfill the Multi-cultural credit. "Wait!" you say. "Didn't he serve a mission to South America? Doesn't that fill a multi-cultural credit?" Yes, but that's the international credit. He needs a National credit. And living in Vegas, where you can travel the world without ever leaving the city, doesn't count either. He is taking a class online, but unfortunately the only class that was available is Women's Studies. Yeah, I rolled my eyes, too. I think he might go insane before he's through, LOL.

As for me, I have been working diligently on getting my photography business up and running. The good news is that I have my website up now! Woohoo! You can check it out here. Please tell me what you think! And yes, a few of you might be surprised to see some very familiar faces;-)

Cameron has adjusted very well to the move. He definitely misses his Grandma Stiles and all his uncles, but he LOVES playing at cousin Aubrey's house! We are hoping that the two will grow up to be good friends. Cameron has had a pretty bad illness lately, which we suspect was RSV, but it looks like it has finally run it's course, and he is on the mend. Here are a couple of photos of him I took a couple of days ago. He was being such a little ham in front of the camera! He could be a model, LOL.